No Bernard Clayton's New Complete Book of Bread recipe today. Instead, since I'd offered to share my sourdough starter with a young friend, I thought I'd experiment with it. On the plus side, this means that you can access the recipe yourself without having to buy a baking tome.
For some reason, I had scones on my brain this morning. I have a recipe I've used before and like, but since I had the sourdough sponge sitting there waiting to be used, I thought I'd see if there was such a thing as a sourdough scone. Indeed, because everything exists on the internet, Allrecipes.com had a recipe (click on the link to see it yourself). I followed it as written except that instead of apple pie spice, I just added a bit of cinnamon.
As I was mixing it up, cutting the cold butter into the dry ingredients, I snapped a picture of my bowl and dough. I posted it to Facebook with the caption, "Mixing sourdough scones in the bowl I just made in pottery class. I feel so self-actualized!"
A friend commented, "That's because you are."
I am? Am I? I wasn't sure. Did I really understand what "self-actualized" meant?
I mostly remembered the term from when I was young. It was almost an insult used when someone was being an overachiever: "you're so self-actualized," said with a great deal of snark.
Another internet search was in order for the day. I thought I vaguely recalled the term having something to do with Maslow's hierarchy of needs, but I wasn't sure. Wikipedia assured me that my memory was intact, in this bit of trivia, anyway. Abraham Maslow was indeed the originator of the idea that human development is based on a motivational hierarchy of needs.
At the base of this pyramid are the physiological needs - food, water, the things we must have to sustain life. Once those needs are satisfied we can worry about our safety - having shelter or whatever is needed to not be defenseless against wildlife and the elements. Then we can work on developing the relationships that allow us to share love and have a sense of belonging. Once those relationships are in place, we find we have a need to have the esteem of the ones we love, and maybe even those we don't (although they shouldn't matter as much, sometimes they do). In addition to respect and recognition from others, we also need to have a sense of self-esteem and self-respect - we need to believe that we are worthwhile. In many ways, self-esteem is more important than the esteem of others.
Only once all of those other needs are in place can we reach the point of self-actualization. No, this is not synonymous with over-achieving. Instead, it means our lives and psyches are stable enough that we can focus on realizing our full potential. What this means is specific to each individual because what we want out of life is very specific. You may want to be a world-class athlete or an influential businessman. I want to express my creativity through glass, painting, and writing - among too many other activities.
In reality, I find myself trapped in an amorphous world between esteem and self-actualization. Sometimes I do feel that I am living the life I am meant to be living and am expressing myself to the best of my abilities. Other times, too often, perhaps, I am trapped in angst over wanting recognition for others about my creative pursuits. It's not enough that I like my glass portrait of a Bohemian waxwing, everyone else needs to, too. Not just my friends, not just those in Valdez, but everyone! It's unrealistic and sometimes painfully demoralizing and I know that I'm being ridiculous, but...it's hard to stop the cycle of negativity.
Of course, the need to ensure the lower levels of the pyramid are in place never goes away. I am lucky to be at a point in life at which the lower two levels are secure, for now.
So, am I self-actualized? Yes...most days...if I don't think about it too hard. But that doesn't mean that I don't want to know that others find my pottery bowl pretty or my scones yummy. My ego can't let go of that need for approval.
Id, ego, superego.... No, we don't need to go there. Too much philosophy for one day.
Go forth and try to ensure all your needs are met during this time of pandemic and isolation. In later years, Maslow added transcendence to his hierarchy as being the ultimate expression of self. He described this, in my terms, as a need to connect with the rest of humanity and the Earth and the universe. To some this might mean spirituality, to others, it might be altruism or something else entirely. Perhaps this time of global need for connection without direct contact is our time to reach for transcendence.
Good luck and stay healthy!
