Kim posted a quote on Facebook today that caught my attention: "If you want to do something big in your life, you must remember that shyness is only the mind. If you think shy, you act shy. If you think confident you act confident. Therefore never let shyness conquer your mind."
This sentiment is profound enough in its own right, but consider its source: Arfa Karim Randhawa. At the age of nine, Pakistani-born Arfa became the youngest Microsoft Certified Professional, a title she held for four years. Just three days ago, at the age of 16, she died from complications after an epileptic siezure. In her short life, this child comprehended something many adults fail to ever understand.
When I saw this quote on my Facebook news feed, it resonated with me because it's a lesson I've managed to learn, mostly. I am quick to credit my eight grade English teacher, Mrs. Thatcher, with putting me on the path to becoming who I am. She convinced me to try out for a play, Little Women, that spring and cast me in the role of Marmee. I went on from there to participate in the Chugiak High School theater program as well as compete on the school Drama, Debate and Forensics team. There's nothing like competetive public speaking to teach you to fake confidence!
Although I haven't participated in a theater program since high school (I miss it still), I use the lessons I learned every day. Arfa was spot on when she said, "If you think confident you act confident." It's not unlike believing that if you act happy you'll feel happy; it just can be a lot harder to do. While I still struggle with making small talk with people I don't know (okay, okay, I become a complete wall flower at conference meet-and-greets), I've learned to act confident in most other settings. I'm still learning, though. It's only been in the last few years that I've started admitting to someone, "I'm sorry, but I've completely forgotten your name." (We all do it, right?) I've also started introducing myself to strangers rather than waiting for an introduction.
I bring all of this up because I think this sort of public confidence is something many of us struggle with. As with most things in life, this area is another one that benefits from practice, practice, practice. Eventually, you don't have to force it, most of the time. Cocktail parties are another matter.
What's your confidence-quelling situation? More importantly, what can you do to conquer it?
