In preparation for my trip to Bhutan, I've been reading the novel Circle of Karma by Kunzang Choden, the first Bhutanese woman to publish a novel in English. It is the story of Tsomo, a Bhutanese woman who lives a most nontraditional life, although not entirely by choice. I haven't finished it yet, but it's been a good read so far.
Last night, I came across a paragraph that read, in part: "Being the receiver of alms she began to think about the implications....She realized that charity and sharing were two different things. It was usually the poor who shared what they had and the rich who gave to charity. The poor shared without any ulterior motives, not even to gain merit. They shared, compelled by a raw compassion because they were stirred by the conditions of deprivation."
I was struck by the general truth of this statement and was led to think about my own attitudes toward sharing and charity. Thane and I will seldom say no if someone asks for our help or asks to borrow something we have and they need. In this way, I think we are generally sharing people.
We do not succeed well at being charitable people, however, despite that we are not poor by any measure. We seldom give in a quantity commensurate with our income. The implication of Choden's paragraph is that the charitable rich only give with the expectation of something in return: a good feeling, a thank you, a break on income taxes. Unfortunately, I think this is often true in our case.
I will give to support friends who are fundraising for a cause, but perhaps not as generously as I should. In some cases I am less generous because I know that they cannot afford to return the generosity in kind when I am fundraising for my causes. What kind of thinking is that? How mean-spirited can I be? Even for my own causes, I'm likely to give just enough to bring me to the next level for a better incentive prize or some other accolade. I shudder to think of my own behavior!
We always have good intentions of giving more to organized charities, but seldom follow through in a meaningful way. Our intentions are often based in a desire to get a tax break, but seldom is even this enough incentive.
The point is, why do we need incentives? I think what Choden is saying is that we need to give simply because it is needed and we are moved by witnessing that need. We are approaching the Christmas (Hannukah, Yule, Kwanzaa, etc.) season and the end of the year, the time of year when charitable giving typically spikes for people wanting the tax break. I urge you, and myself, to simply look around you for those who are in need and give because that need exists. We can only determine for ourselves how much we can give, whether of money or time, but we can all give something to those less fortunate than ourselves.
We can't help those we don't know about, and often our own ability to see is obscured by focusing on ourselves. If you know of an organization, group, family, etc. that needs help, please let me (and my readers) know. I do want to help, and I know others do, too.
