Humans are by nature adventurous. Watch a toddler expand his territory a wobbly step at a time. Watch a teenager test curfew. Watch an eighty-year-old grandmother sign up for an art tour of Russia. The soul thrives on adventure. Deprived of adventure, our optimism fails us. Adventure is a nutrient, not a frivolity. When we ignore our need for adventure, we ignore our very nature. Often we do exactly that, calling it "adulthood" or "discipline." When we are too adult and too disciplined, our impish, childlike innovator yearns to rebel.
-Julia Cameron, The Artist's Way Every Day
I totally agree with this quote. I do my best to live by this credo. I fantasize regularly about the next ten or so adventures I want to go on.
As I read this quote this morning, I could see the point being made by referencing the toddler, the teen and the "old" person. It occurred to me though, to wonder how many midlife crises are caused by a need for adventure.
As we become adults and feel the pressure to be "responsible," most of us suppress, with varying degrees of consciousness, our sense of adventure. An increasing awareness of mortality leads to an unwillingness to take big risks. Before long, weariness and busyness lead to taking even small risks less frequently. We suppress our inherent need to express our individuality beneath our partner's expectations or requirements to take care of our families. We no longer embark on new enterprises that won't somehow lead to greater economic or social advantage.
Several weeks ago, I heard someone in the media comment that it wasn't too surprising that most midlife crises coincide with when our children reach their teens. The implication was that the parent was reacting to the pressures, even terrors, of raising a teenager. I wonder if it isn't a reaction to watching our children embrace adventurousness at a time when we adults have most successfully subsumed our own.
If Julia's right, our midlife selves are screaming with the need for adventure. What constitutes adventure is highly individual. For one, it might just be going to a movie alone because no one else wants to see it. Another might take a vacation (as opposed to a trip to visit family) for the first time. If your craving is strong enough, adventure might mean learning to skydive or going on a solo trip to a foreign country.
For many, a midlife crisis manifests as a need to make a major life changes such as leaving a spouse, having an affair, or impulsively quitting a job. All of these are also extremely adventurous, if potentially destructive.
Perhaps, just perhaps, if we allowed a little adventure into our lives more regularly, we'd avoid the need to overindulge destructively in adventure at midlife. Surely we can all find a way to let loose of our responsibilities enough to squeeze in a little adventure. In doing so, we may just get to know ourselves better and learn how to nurture our spirited selves. A regular diet of nutritious adventure may just help us maintain good mental health.
So, what's your next adventure, big or small?
