Tomorrow it will be exactly one week since I had rotator cuff surgery on my right shoulder and just over four years since I had my left shoulder done. I have high hopes for as great a success this time around.
In the meantime, I am now, as I was then, consumed by pain. No, don't feel too sorry for me. I don't mean that I am always in pain, but rather that it is always on my mind.
Four years ago, I was in enough pain that I wrote an ode to my pain pills: Unholy Trinity. I am happy to say that I'm in nowhere near as much pain as before. I've only taken a few Dilaudid (the day after surgery was the worst), and I skipped Percocet altogether because it now keeps me awake all night. My love has been Vicodin, but even that I've been tapering off of already. I've only taken two today.
What I've really been noticing is how I feel just before I'm in pain. I've noticed that I get really antsy. I can't sit still and I fidget. Within about 10 minutes of the fidgeting starting I'll be hurting enough to need a pill. I find it very interesting what I notice about myself when I have time and reason to pay attention to myself. This antsy-ness is not something I ever would have predicted.
Unfortunately, I know that when physical therapy starts in another month, I'll have plenty of reasons to be paying attention to my pain and body reactions. Until then, I'll settle for coping with living one-handed and sleeping in a recliner.